How many good friends do you have? Besides family, I have very few close friends. I do have a fair amount of acquaintances, but few good, close friends.
We lost a few good friends when our baby, Michael, died (way back in 1984). We found that a lot of people just didn't know what to say to us or how to act around us. I think they felt they could not, or should not be happy or cheerful around us.
I am sure that is the same with RA - a lot of friends don't know what they should say or how they should feel. As the RA progresses, you lose friends because of your lack of mobility. You are no longer able to go on the camping trips, shopping sprees and even visiting friend's homes becomes difficult, at least for me. Not too many campsites are equipped with raised toilets or have easy access for wheelchairs. Everyone I know, besides my mother's home, has stairs. So in most cases, if family and friends want to visit, they have to come to me. My husband and I have both lost a few friends because of this.
Working is another issue with friendship. When you no longer go to work, due to pain and mobility, you don't have that aspect of socialization anymore. I know this also happens when Moms decide to be Stay at Home Moms (I should also add 'or Dads') and to those of us who work from home, through choice or necessity. Your work friends, after a while, disappear. Your interests are not the same and life seems to move on at a different speed for them.
I think this is why the RA blogging community is so great. When we write and read these blogs we become more than just acquaintances. As we learn more about each other, share our stories and some of the same issues we become blogging friends!
